"I never met a wine more wonderful than my own thirst" -E. Vincent Millay

Illinois

2009-09-16T03:56:54Z

As i go through my days of being a crazy assistant and running around trying to catch the c train in general being a new york city person I find myself longing the days of where i grew up. The amazing flatness of the land, the kind kind people who dont care about my chosen profession, the smell, the porches, the simplicity, the air, the sky. All of the lovely things that make me feel good.

here are some pictures of my Illinois that I long for so much

i want to get married in Allerton Park, to myself perhaps.

most viewed

2009-09-02T04:28:59Z

This is my most viewed photo on flickr

viewed 1918 times...hmmm curious...where else has my photo been posted..the mystery needs to be solved

aww I miss my Green Wall! New york wall is looking kinda blue

so hot out!

2009-08-21T02:06:36Z

As i log into livejournal, livejournal informs me there is a bar in las vegas called "rehab" I think it says something like "come party at rehab!" yuk

Today I spent the whole day cleaning with the air conditioner on..On my way back from Andrews i sat behind a woman on the bus who seemed obsessed with jesus and whoever she was talking to on the phone was being possesed by the devil, she talked the entire span of my Brooklyn ride, people moved away so they couldnt hear her..she was sort of fascinating..the way she talked, she would describe everything in such a strange way like.."I woke up in the morning and made eggs which were yellow and the pan was hot, people called me but i was too busy ..my suitcase was open on the bed with my clothing coming out of the sides etc" she left me feeling entranced

Anyway, I am no longer working for Issey Miyake, I gave my two weeks notice to become a full time design intern for this woman www.http://www.jeanyu.com/
I think I may be the only person who is quitting their job to go make no money.

Andrew and i have been together for one hectic year we went to coney island...and then to Connecticut to see the folks as usual here is that.

farewell Issey Miyake, I will miss you kinda

Train from new york city to Connecticut

2009-08-07T22:15:11Z

Sometimes I need to escape from the drudgery and constant overstimulation of the city. I usually take a train up to Connecticut, sometimes i bring friends sometimes i come just myself. The other day was one of those escape days and i felt the need to come up here and hang out with trees and deer.

I wrote this on the train on my way up.. i hope that it doesn't offend anyone that lives in Connecticut!

There is a man sitting across from me on the train who's happiness confuses the uptight Connecticut commuters surrounding us. The lady beside him, a frail looking woman with pursed lips, tightly clutching her Vanity Fair, jumps out of her seat as this gleeful man sneezes. Unabashedly blinking his eyes and looking at us, searching for conformation in our faces as he states 'whew, its hot isn't it? I smile and say "yes" whilst my seat partners glare at me as if to ask 'why did you speak to him!? He asks the man next to me 'please sir, can i use your newspaper? "for what?" the man asks..."well of course to fan myself off" he beams back. This happy man, the man with a sense of community a love and a vigor for life and trust in humanity will go to a home where he perhaps shares this vigor with people around him, people he lives with, a family of love or maybe he lives alone content with his life, either way he was my favorite person to ride with on the train! so unlike his Connecticut counterparts.

here are some photos of some times we have in connecticut, sorry for the photo heavyness of it all and the nudity may not be work safe!

I had Landon drive because i was too scared too...its been almost 4 years!!

I hope everyone is wonderful and great! I miss you all and love so very much to read your journals.

-wray

hello lj friends

2009-07-28T21:44:55Z

hello all! I have not updated for a while, I kinds missed lj so I thought I would update using my iPod at work stealing a signal from somewhere in soho. Last week Hannah Landon and I went to visit my mom in the woods to escape the city we ate a lot of cheese and milk from the farm, took a walk through the forest, and took a few photos. I will try to post some in the next entry.

To those of you that wrote me letters thank you! So many wonderful and pretty things said. I plan on writing back when I am on the train to ct tomorrow, also I have started to make clothing again and was wondering how many people would be interested in purchasing things or doing trades for artwork. Right now I am just making silk tanks and shorts which I will take pictures of soon.

I hope everyone is well!

We got our landlord to lower our rent bc rent prices in NYC are going down, I am looking into a part time deal so I can sew more and am looking into grad school.

packing procrastination

2009-07-02T01:00:18Z

I think i have a worm in my tummy, the kind that eats your food...whenever i eat it feels like i havent eaten or something.

Also when i left today for my goal of finding a dress and a pair of shoes i kinda had to pee but somehow when i got home hours later never having peed i no longer had to pee...hmmmm its like the peee reabsorbed into my body. woooo spoooky.

On my way back home i bumped into hannah who gave me tips on packing, she looked all radiant twirling her hair and looking at me with her pretty green eyes, she must melt landons heart every night.

I am going to San Francisco tomorrow for the first time since i moved to new york it has been exactly a year!

Kaila moved back to california :(

here are some photos of the past month or so.

we were taking nakie photos on the street and then ended up in a photo studio at 2 am

there are ones with private parts in them but i figured i would post those in a friends only post ;)

skin

2009-05-21T02:10:04Z

my skin iches like a lot, sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night iching it, after a thorough scratching daily my legs end up looking like a stubbly hairy mess with spots of red here and there giving onlookers a taste of real woman...real agitated woman. I am not sure what the deal is, i try to put a crazy amount of lotion on everyday but the iching persists, its becoming a real problem, any suggests?

Other peoples skin is so different from mine, i like to feel all kind of skins, Kates is smooth and soft, it feels like heavan..i kinda wonder if she didnt shave ever if her skin would just feel like soft bunny fur, Andrews skin is malliable, its soft but i feel like a can knead at it, there are places where it is thick and there are places where it is thin but it always without fail it has this feeling like soft dough. Seans skin used to feel like a sponge, with hair, i constantly would bury my head in it, it the morning i would stretch my arm across his chest and my favorite part about waking up would be to touch his skin. Tamaras was firm but so so smooth when i squeezed her thighs and breasts i would get full handfulls of the wonderful stuff. My skin i believe is sort of rough maybe..oily kinda spikey, soft firm, something tells me my skin will remain this way for a long time even as I age.

Ahmed gave me so much wonderful music today, sometimes i enjoy sitting in my livingroom and listening to tales of bands he has played in.

Autumn stepped on the largest cockroach i have ever seen and it oozed green.

My favorite part of the day is usually coming home and relaxing, those 3 sweet hours of bliss are all i need to feel right.

here is some of life

the morning i found out my job was all changed around

my favorite skirt my favorite shoes

what i stare at allllll day

one of my favorite and least favorite places in the evening

sad and horney

2009-05-06T00:21:14Z

is what i am

i missss youuuuu

2009-04-14T04:20:25Z

how can i live with you and miss you!?!?!?! how is that possible?

you are my hopey

and i am ur maggie

i wuv you

?

2009-04-03T03:55:08Z

i am shitty asshole! <3 next time i have nothing to do on a random right i shall go to that lesbian bar in greenwich village

packages etc

2009-03-25T19:33:24Z

Who is the amazing person who made me a mix? they put frida on the front and the most adorable girls on the cd front..one with a pegleggg!!! wowzers.

someone sent it to me the 17th

also i got a package slip for a large envalope but the postman gave it to some unknown person and i never recieved it! grrrr

help me solve the mystery

fashion

2009-03-16T03:05:41Z

I meant to post these a while ago but i very very very much like Rachel Comey's fall 2009 collection like a trillion times better than issey miyake (sorry issey miyake) i know these two dont compare but they are my whole life right now rather taking oveeer my lifeee.

Everything about these clothes was perfection as ready to wear

here are some horribly awful blurry pictures i managed to take at the show.. unfortunately my camera was left at home and i had to borrow my coworkers point and shoot.

Shortly after i met up with Steven and felt what it is like to hang out with a boy my own height for a change, it was pretty much surreal

and to keep in theme with crappy picture quality here is a picture of andrew and myself on my birthday eating the best food ever which included lobster mac and cheese, two things which are yummy all in themselves but together who knew could be sooso amazing.

I have more things to say and share but for now there ya go and sorry i havent had a chance to write any of you lettersss! but i will i promiseee

hi livejournal!

2009-03-01T01:02:09Z

between my job and my internship I may get about 2 days off a month so i havent been around for a little while...Sometimes i feel bananas but in a pretty good way i guess.

i thought i would sorta walk you through one of my days....

Sometimes i work in a big warehouse in the garment district near penn station... i walk by the warehouse where they store those food carts with hotdogs and stuffs that is sold all around the city....oh god...i will never buy a street dog againnnnn after peeking in that place.

so this is the elevator that sometimes stops on my floor or sometimes doesnt depending on its mood

we are sending out all the orders for spring 2009 they are being produced in the factory and then the min they are sewn we walk through the garment district with this huge fucking rack of clothes practically knocking people over and up the freight elevator and into boxes and off to stores.

here is outside

Sometimes i am at the studio doing stuffs there

these are my favorite shoessss right now

also..most of these shoes freak me out in a really effing good way

here is a pretty accurate picture of what i currently look like right now

here is the c..my lifeblood train i take it everywhere

when i am not at work i am at home and on very rare occasions i get to hang out with some people i love..

like kate

and we jump around in bed and watch movies

oh and this is where my armpit hair is at the current moment

pretty nutters huh...i am kinda way into it...i dont have to shave cos its so cold out..however my work sometimes has heat on up to 90 degrees which forces me to wear armpit exposing garments..i think i have caught a few glances towards my armpit area..bye bye hairs?

oh and a cook a lot now to save $

I have also been writing a lot of letters and am enjoying sending and receiving stuffs so if you leave your address i will drop you a note...it may not be fancy but i need something to do at work

i enjoy reading all your posts very much..you kinda pull me thru my days of long keep it up!

updating from work....

2009-02-20T23:01:26Z

Getting my shoes fixed in NYC is a must.....a replace my soles/heels/insteps/taps about every other week its nuts. But it needs to happen especially when i think i am hot shit and end up slipping on ice and falling on my butt. smiling up at my partner who casually laughs and then helps me up.

when i was younger i used to play with my mothers toes...i used to feel in between her toes before i was about to fall asleep, they were so smooth the parts where they pressed together squished tightly into her 80's pumps, it was like soft babies skin..now when i feel my own toes its the same thing...they get pressed together with all the various shoes i wear and i feel that I have growing up into becoming mom...when i was in new mexico recently my father professed to me (rather reluctantly, that I look just like her, my mother...and i have the same wrinkle between my brow apparently at the same age as she was then that i am now.....scary huh...my parents were hanging out and making me the age i am now! wowzers!

it was good to see Katharine and Kevin the other night

I work 7 days a week now.

I bought a soul cd from some guys who were performing underground near 77th

I will post pictures later.

turn on

2009-02-02T06:42:58Z

your boobs turn me on!

ok sleep now.

history

2009-01-20T17:35:41Z

this is a day of history that I shall remember for the rest of my life and I will to go into this year with a sense of hope and expect the best despite the circumstances and to love everyone and be the most understanding kind openminded person possible, thanks Obama!

biiiiirthdaaay!

2008-12-24T19:26:25Z

quarter of a century today.. weeeird

xmas birthday

2008-12-12T22:03:33Z

This is what i want for my birthday and xmas

buuuuuuuuuuuurd its cold

2008-12-10T02:36:12Z

I am full of sausage and noodles, I am thinking my weight gain is going pretty well, My belly looks so cute, its a like a little round cushion so I am feeling a little warmer..i was going to go to Choice to get myself a wonderful cupcake but was delayed by various amounts of customer service representatives on the phone. No cupcake today but maybe tomorrow, i wish I took the G to work instead of the C so I could swing by Choice in the am and eat cupcakes for breakfast!

It snowed for the first time a couple of days ago, We were in Union Square eating food and when I saw the snow I twisted my body around and spread my arms twas great.

I feel that whenever i post i post pictures of Connecticut and not New York which is weird, I think I am more inspired to take photos up there anyway...here is some of thanks giving

The other night Jacob took me to his friends for a dinner party. They were a beautiful couple that lived on 12th and 3rd in a very proper apartment and by proper i mean amazing and spacious...almost as spacious as some brooklyn apartments i have seen. They provided us with an amazing dinner and after a few glasses of wiine the conversation turned into into that of politics and humerous antidotes about culture world and life that young urban professionals in their mis 20's discuss....now...the part that interested mee........was her...................

She, an intelligent put together girl who works for the New York times fascinated me for some reason, perhaps it was the wine but after the night passed on and politics and financial woes dominated the table I watched as she slipped away from the conversation into her own world, her long slender fingers playing with the wax of the candle and the flames illuminated her skin and eyes as if they were dancing all around her.

last thing...

i have noticed a recent trend of mine for delving into masculinity and heterosexual sex...as well as turning in my literature of female adventurers, literary geniuses feminine bastions of strength and scholar to those of novels..simple ones of cozy bunnies etc.

over all at the end of the day each day, I feel content, the freezing air makes my cheeks burn and feel alive also at the end of each day my love is for him...but my real passion is and remains infleetingly, for her.

good night dears...i know I am supposed to phone 80 million of you...but days is lonnng. I still love youu all!

whisky belly

2008-11-22T23:37:25Z

This morning I woke up for the second time to tappings and scratches on my door, after tempting Michael and Kate with soft little pleads and promises or warmth and coziness to get in bed with me, we had ourselves an official Kate sandwich.

I am sitting in my bed right now trying to stay warm with a belly full of yum and feeling a bit whiskybellied.

Guys, it is COLD outside, the low today is 26 degreees. If I could I would sleep with as many people as i could fit in my bed at this point, However I am sure just the one would suffice.

Kate took us to a place in Prospect Park for brunch today which blew my effing mind. Only a place like this would exist in Brooklyn. The food is amazing...stuff that your favorite granny in Kentucky would make, sausage, eggs, grits, lots. My vanilla egg cream topped it off. The older man at this glorious place hugged me when we left and wished me happy thanksgiving but not before he gave the ole noggin a little caress whilst refilling our coffee. ONLY this man was able to provide these gestures of kindness without it being weird.

This is my street and my Kate..when it was rainy and mildly cold

I like walking to the subway on this street to work everyday, the brownstones make my heart leap.

Cupcakes, muffins, bacon, mac and cheese...anything that will provide cushiony fat to surround my hiney and belly and face to keep me warm is always a good thing! like an animal i am trying to fluff up for the winter.

ah yes and my boyfriend is in GQ in the article about Thome Browne, I can see my work in the background of the picture.

I bought myself a new duvet cover with my paycheck and am rereading Watership Down in bed, subway, breakroom, everywhere i can. It makes me think in bun terms...I think of my apartment as a warren as well as the idea that bunnies sleep together for warmth. Watership Down, you are such a good book to read during the fall.

....my work just called to ask if I was feeling ok and keeping warm, they are the sweetest people to work for.

Thank you Kate and Micheal for letting me hang out and drink my tea and whisky, I very much enjoy being able to talk with people who love discussing varying amounts of topics ranging from feminine social construct to vaginas to favorite angsty songs to which we all know the words.

stay warm bunnies!

History

2008-11-05T16:56:15Z

we did a good job and I finally feel like i can actually be proud of being an american.

yayyyyyyy!

the end of the best week ever and the best weekend ever

2008-10-15T21:59:51Z

When we arrived in CT my mother promptly informed us that they were participating in an owl socialization project where they met up with a barred owl who had a broken wing a couple of times a week, to read it stories.

When Andrew and I showed up it flew at our heads and we had to talk to him for half an hour to calm him down.

We went to a pumpkin patch and i got to breathe normal air vs new york city air for the first time in a while. we hiked through the forest by a lake and I pulled a tooth out of an animal skull to give to Kate.

i have yet another stone wall picture.

here are some pics

I tried my best at a grave rubbing of this

It was very nice to see Hannah and Landon, I want them to move to New York earlier so they can come to my steak birthday feast. Some highlights of our meeting were the amazing and silly pictures of our antics hannah posted on my facebook a couple of which i must share

i am stealing these pictures hannah!!

Hannah even managed to catch a butt grab!

sorry for all the photos folks, hopefully your computers wont crash due to loads of incoming picture file mania.

Best upcoming weekend ever.

2008-10-08T19:26:07Z

This weekend we are taking a train up to CT, i love escaping out of the city and running around in the forests surrounding the old house. I love sticking my fingers in the creek water and finding odd shaped stones, The trees might be turning a little and last time i was there i found lambs ears growing out of the forest floor.
We are going to a pumpkin patch and picking out a pumpkin, just as i used to do when i was a child. Hopefully we can do some grave rubbings, i found grave stones from the 1700's, i especially like the ones that say "here lies..." and a description of how the person passed on. ex: "Mary fell off the carriage and was trampled to her death by horses."

here is the picture of Kate and I at the old house.

Hope all is well with yous, i am slightly nervous about my interview tomorrow and hope i can quickly finish my illustrator flats so i can whisk myself into manhattan today.

ah yes and nathan and lizzie are having a pumpkin carving party at their place in brooklyn, I believe lizzie and I are going to roast a bunch of seeds.

homehomehome

2008-09-23T19:49:15Z

I woke up this morning to kate bringing me apples and butter in bed...after having a strange night of dreaming about lesbian vampire sex kate informed me that if you eat cheese before going to sleep you have the strangest of dreams.

here is a picture of kaila in her bed looking dreamy

i love living with these amazing ladies here. At night time i sometimes walk around and stare at the beautiful brownstones that line these old streets, brooklyn and i are officially friends. there is a cafe around the corner named Choice that i occasionally go to, it has the most amazing pastries etc.

A couple of days ago we had our housewarming party, thanks to those who came...competing with the rest of New York City on a Sat night is a difficult feat but it worked out just fine.

I miss a couple people back in san francisco. Since i have moved here i have already encountered 4 visitors from back home or various places i have been. Bryan once told me when you move here that people visit all the time and i didnt believe him but he was right! Can more people visit too?

The past few days i have been a hermit and seem to want to keep to myself, i am sorry if i havent returned a lot of your phone calls etc. i go thru random periods of time where a want to be alone, maybe in order to collect my thoughts, plan my next life moves. Coming here was the best decision i have made thus far, I can already feel fall creeping in and summer ending, so magical!

Kate and I took a train ride up to connecticut last weekend and walked through the forest, found masks in my parents home and took pictures in the old basement, i will provide photos later.

if you have added me and would like me to add back or say hello that would be delightful! i like new friends!

-wray

I AM SORRY TORREY!

2008-09-23T03:20:58Z

for being such a stupid idiot!

I can have such spaghetti for brains sometimes